What?!

If you haven't noticed already, but there is a new tab up. Enjoy at your leisure as it is going to be a bunch of funky stuff that deals with life outside the library while still on the job. I'll let you look into it as you want. Enjoy!!!

As for other news, the staff meeting was moved to today, so I'm rushing through this post so I can take the hour long (nap) excuse me staff meeting. It's about some new changes, hopefully not dealing with what happened yesterday or the day before that which I'll tell later today.

Oh crude! Got to go Mr. Clean is coming!!!

You got to love Librarian-hood...

Back with VENGEANCE!!!

So it took me all day Friday to learn Mr. Clean's coffee break, so now I have my time and will probably post in that fifteen minute span everyday. Let me tell you it wasn't easy learning that little piece of info, he's a blood hound with eyes in the back of his head. But what do you expect from an ex-military man. (Still don't know what he did, but I will find out and post. *evil grin*)

With that in mind, Ms. M.A. (mysterious alphabetizer) blew in earlier today with her daughter at her side. I dubbed her Ms. Little Mysterious Alphabetizer. Why you might ask? Well, if you've been reading my blog at all, you will know the story. She blew through the stacks faster then her mom!!!! O.o

All I could think was... Holy Guacamole!!!! I've seriously got to go on an expedition to find out how they do this stuff, maybe ask Ms. M.A. if she's some kind of super hero or something...

You've got to love Librarian-Hood...

LONG time...

Man, I didn't realize how long it's been since I've been on the blog. =O

You can blame Mr. Clean, he's been on my butt for so long it ain't fair! Anyhoo, news news, what is happening in REF's life. Dude!!!! I can't even begin to tell you, first off, I'm not looking forward to the Summer Reading Program. Reason, half our staff was laid off, thus I get to read to the little kiddies. Ugh!!!!

Going on, reason for lay off, not enough funding. It's getting harder and harder to get grants and federal funding so there is less for us to provide for the public. It's a sad fact that I hate to admit, even my work load has doubled, thus Mr. Clean's constant prodding. Thank goodness he hasn't gotten a cattle prod. Those things hurt!!! Don't ask how I know.

So the summer is on it's way, the library is in constant transition with new volunteers. And what fun it's been!!! I'll tell you about all those wonderful stories in the weeks to come. Hope I can continue to get away with this. *looking over stacks of papers for Mr. Clean* Let's just cross our fingers and hope.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Learn Your Lesson...

So it turns out I've finally learned that you don't mess with a Green Berra. So it turns out today I spent nearly half the morning trying to figure out how to open a bottle of rubbing alcohol with only my thumbs. You're probably wondering why. Well to put it simply Mr. Clean finally got me.

True, true, seems impossible, but yes. This morning I walked the halls of shame and made every assistant librarian and our director snort in laughter. So what happened... well...

Mr. Clean super glued my fingers to my keyboard... yes... it's true.


How did he do it? Put it simply he put the glue on seconds before I got to my desk. When I put my fingers down on the keys, well... they were stuck. So I ended up having to rip the keyboard out of the PC and go to the break room to remove it. Fun times... fun times...

Anyhoo, now all the patrons are asking what happened and embarrassed as I am, I have to explain.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Switcharoo

Long time, hahaha... what can I say the library has been exceptionally busy. (Though I have to admit I've been sleeping through most of it.) With the blessed Summer Reading Program finally over, I no longer had to hide in a closet to get away from the kiddies.

Anyhoo, today has been so hilarious I couldn't help wanting to mention it while I was thinking about it. As you all know Mr. Clean is a stickler for protocol, and I have this wonderful talent of getting him mad. Well to put things simply, I got him really mad today. (I'm childish I know, but you can't be serious all the time.) So today, I had this wonderful idea of peeling the woman's bathroom sign off the bathroom and sticking it on the door to his office. (Surprising he gets an office right?) I put his name plate on the woman's bathroom. (Okay so I got this from AGT but I couldn't help it. The evilness came out when I saw it.)

So what happens halfway through the day. About ten women walk into his office. Of course he has no clue what's going on and directs them to the restroom. By the twelfth time, I think he was getting tired of it. So guess what he does, comes to ask me why it is everyone is coming to his itsy bitsy office. *shrug*

Ten minutes later...

Let's just say I was cutting up in the attic to keep away from the red headed Mr. Clean. So for the rest of the day it was hide-and-go-seek with the library assistant. Ain't life grand!!!

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

The real REFeree...

So today was one of those days. Now the library is pretty big, but even then you can hear people yelling at one another from my small corner in the back of the library. Mr. Clean of course is trying to intervene between two woman that decide to have a cat fight, literally, next to the children's room. (You can just imagine all the round eyed kids.) Mr. Clean of course can't do a thing. (He's a guy after all and his threats are useless against two women about to pull each others hair out.)

Well, I'm not one to interfer with other peoples affairs, but these women were interferring with my afternoon nap. (Everyone in the library knows that's a no-no.) So I get up, and walk past my other assistants, who duck after seeing the look on my face. The women are now getting a little physical with each other. I get in between them and each give them my deadly glare.

They instantly quiet as I snarl, "If you keep this up, I'll show you what a cat fight is."

One of the woman steps up to challenge, but I don't give her a minute, grabbing her by an ear I send her out the door. The other woman watches and I almost laughed at the look on her face, but she quickly slinked out after the other woman. Mr. Clean had a 'how in the world' look on his face (as well as all the patrons that had come to watch) as I walked back to my desk and finished enjoying my afternoon nap. (I think I will be receiving a lot of thank you cards later on.)

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Private Investigator REF & Mr. Clean

Okay, today nearly left me in tears. For me, as the reference librarian, I have some of the most amazing experiences with the public that I don't often mention. But today was exceptional. A woman came in today looking for her father. Now this woman is about forty and has two kids with her. She came up and asked me over my books, "Could you help me find someone?"

I looked up from my computer and ask, "Someone in the library?"

"Not exactly... I'm looking for my father."

Now this is where she spills her guts about her father having been a war hero, who had disappeared when she was born, but for some reason beyond me, she was trying to find him. Call it reconciliation, but it was touching. Now according to policy we don't provide those kinds of services. But before I knew it I was saying yes. (I didn't want to change the AC filter *or untie the idiot assistant*) So I went into a large search, asking her everything she could remember about her father.

Right about the time I was starting to find some leads Mr. Clean shows up. Now for some reason ever since the iniciation scare he's been kind of cold shouldered and almost like my boss. He asks me what I'm doing, and I just shrug and say, 'Hunting.'

He finds out, tells me it's not policy and I tell him to shut up. (HAHAHA! I'm cold hearted towards him, he needs to get one. *a heart I mean*) I just keep searching while he drowns on about policy and about work ethic, and all that junk.(I'm good at selective hearing.) Right about that time, I'm calling a police department in Detroit of all places to ask then for any info they might have on this woman's father.

Bingo! I found something, Mr. Clean for once stops talking and being such a pain in the rear and helps. By the time the woman came back from story hour, I had her father's phone number, home address and everything else I could find. (Hopefully I have the right guy here.) She thanked us, gave us each thirty bucks and left. (Whoa, I'm going to have a good lunch thinking about that.)

Mr. Clean actually smiled at me for once and we went about our work, me sleeping, Mr. Clean doing whatever he does in the stacks. It was tear jerking and very gratifying. Thank you, Mrs. Patron-with-missing-father.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Who is this guy?!?

Alright, 'ghost mode' isn't working so well. WHO IN THE WORLD IS THIS GUY?! Some Navy SEAL or something!!! He always seems to find me. I almost want to give up, but...

*evil grin*

I have one more trick up my sleeve, hope it works... Anyways, as it turns out he isn't too bad of an assistant, though he's still at page level and think's he's a know-it-all when it comes to a library. Asked him what ALA (For all of you that don't know what that is, its American Library Association. You can look it up.) was and he gave me this 'huh' look. Got to say, he gives me some laughs even though I have to sneak to get on this blog. (It's kind of thrilling having to sneak around, I haven't had that for a while.)

In other news, less reference questions from patrons. (I think they are afraid of him.) And, every other staff member has fallen in love with Mr. Clean. (I don't quite understand it though, he's just so... irritating.) But I'm loving the less reference questiosn, I got to tell you. (Sorry upset patrons, it ain't my fault!)

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Looking Over Shoulder....

Reason for that title, because that's what I have to do right now. The new guy I call Mr. Clean is always hovering over my shoulder. That's one reason I haven't posted any lately, I'm in constant fear of being caught. It feels like a security guard is always on my tail-end.

So the new guy started this week, and boy is he interesting to say the least. Right now, I have him doing the dirty spring cleaning in our hide-away shelves for our reference/college dudes. It's a fun job, hopefully it will keep him for a while.

Anyhoo, new guy, right, well let's just say he's....clean... First off, he's military, which makes him very organized and well... clean. It's hilarious how he gripes about the men's bathroom, and we are all looking at each other wondering where in the world he's been. I can't help but laugh. He hates me even though I'm his boss. (It must have to do with the fact my desk in constantly in disarray. *I call it organized chaos until someone touches it* **hint,hint**) So as of today, he is considered Mr. Clean and I'm going to have to go into 'ghost mode' to get out of his radar range.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

NEW... wait GUY!!!!

So it seems... The Director has chosen the new assistant since Ms. Nervous isn't coming back. And wouldn't you guess it, it's a GUY!!! I'm nervously trying to maintain my cool, since today is his official first day. Only as of reciently did we start getting guy volunteers, so the idea of actually having a guy working in the library all day long is... frightening.

I have nothing against guys, I have no problem staring from my peep hole worth of books in front of me. But actually having to TEACH the guy... foreboding... (I guess it comes from all the Monday morning staff meeting I sleep in on, I keep getting picked for work I don't want to do.)

So here I am, trying not to look as stupid and a little on the OCD that I happen to have a problem with. Let's just hope he can't find the reference desk in this large library.

*finger's crossed*

You got to love Librarian-Hood...