R.A. stricks again!

Rambunctious Assistant is at it again. I tell you this woman is something else!!! Today, I was having to work the front desk because of the wonderful fact that... we have too few workers.

So like every time I'm up there, I find myself making chain link with paper clips or randomly shooting rubber bands at unsuspecting adults (parents included) and thus looking over at the kids with a frown. Anyhoo... today I happened to be playing house of cards with our new library cards, fancy little boogers where you have your picture taken and stuff. Yeah, I don't want to go into the wonderful programming details. When suddenly this patron comes up, a woman around her forties, I believe. She was something else, prada bag, gucci pants, you know the rich ones, and she looked upset. R.A. is always really good at getting angry patrons to shut up better then me, so I let her have the floor.

The rich lady says, "You need to clean your bathroom."

R.A.: "Really? Why's that?"

R.L.: "There are three dead crickets in there!" Rich Lady proceeds to emphasis three with three fingers to R.A.'s face.

Okay, over the last three months we've been having this problem with a whole horde of crickets trying to take over the library, don't ask me way. They just showed up one day and we haven't been able to get rid of them. Go figure. Now right about then I'm thinking, 'Dear Lord, don't let R.A. say something stupid.'

R.A. looks shocked, puts her hand over her chest and exclaims, "Only three!!! Well all be. I'm sorry but there is a strict policy on cleaning the bathrooms. There have to be at least six crickets in order for us to sweep."

R.A. looked so serene and I was desperately trying to keep from laughing my guts out when R.L. says, "Well, I didn't check the other stalls, I'll be right back."

The minute she was out of sight R.A. and I looked at each other and busted out laughing. There is nothing more satisfying then pleasing a patron.

You got to love Librarian-Hood.

Back with VENGEANCE!!!

So it took me all day Friday to learn Mr. Clean's coffee break, so now I have my time and will probably post in that fifteen minute span everyday. Let me tell you it wasn't easy learning that little piece of info, he's a blood hound with eyes in the back of his head. But what do you expect from an ex-military man. (Still don't know what he did, but I will find out and post. *evil grin*)

With that in mind, Ms. M.A. (mysterious alphabetizer) blew in earlier today with her daughter at her side. I dubbed her Ms. Little Mysterious Alphabetizer. Why you might ask? Well, if you've been reading my blog at all, you will know the story. She blew through the stacks faster then her mom!!!! O.o

All I could think was... Holy Guacamole!!!! I've seriously got to go on an expedition to find out how they do this stuff, maybe ask Ms. M.A. if she's some kind of super hero or something...

You've got to love Librarian-Hood...

LONG time...

Man, I didn't realize how long it's been since I've been on the blog. =O

You can blame Mr. Clean, he's been on my butt for so long it ain't fair! Anyhoo, news news, what is happening in REF's life. Dude!!!! I can't even begin to tell you, first off, I'm not looking forward to the Summer Reading Program. Reason, half our staff was laid off, thus I get to read to the little kiddies. Ugh!!!!

Going on, reason for lay off, not enough funding. It's getting harder and harder to get grants and federal funding so there is less for us to provide for the public. It's a sad fact that I hate to admit, even my work load has doubled, thus Mr. Clean's constant prodding. Thank goodness he hasn't gotten a cattle prod. Those things hurt!!! Don't ask how I know.

So the summer is on it's way, the library is in constant transition with new volunteers. And what fun it's been!!! I'll tell you about all those wonderful stories in the weeks to come. Hope I can continue to get away with this. *looking over stacks of papers for Mr. Clean* Let's just cross our fingers and hope.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Duck, Duck, Goose

So today was an exceptionally interesting one. One of my many joys of the day is taking a stroll through the stacks. (It's more to get away from the director and assistants then anything.) It takes a good thirty minutes to walk around and make sure my assistants are doing there job (with a glazed look in their eyes).

As I'm walking past the young adult section of our library, suddenly a book goes flying by my nose. It was a close call and all I could do was stand there stunned. Backing up a step, I'm thinking, "Holy Guacamole, what in the world?!?!"

Looking over, I notice the book is one of our most popular in the teen sections, Fang by James Patterson which had taken a slide under one of the study desks in the section. Slowly I turn the corner and see a girl pacing back and forth muttering.

I made sure to have the book in hand in case there were anymore flying books that might come. Coming up to her, she yells, "I can't believe Fang did that!!!"

Not being as savee about YA fiction (Young Adult), I asked her what was up and why she had thrown the book. She looks up at me and blushes with embarrassment, grabs the book and slinks away before answering my question. That is one of the most interesting experience I have yet had at the library.

I now dub the girl , 'Book Thrower'. Let's just see how many books she throws at my assistants.
*evil grin*

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

History

As it turns out, after spending a day stuck to a keyboard, you really start getting interested in the history of super glue. Since my friends keep telling me I need to stop pranking people and telling, I decided, hey why not tell you guys the history of super glue.

The actual name from the chemical we all know as super (and/or crazy) glue is in fact called, cyanoacrylates. Yeah, real tongue twister. As it turns out it was discovered in 1942, but was quickly abandoned because, face it, it sticks to EVERYTHING. Well about ten years later a couple of researchers saw it's value and thus we have it today.

An interesting fact about super glue, is during the Vietnam war it was used as a wound adhesive because doctors could not sew up patients fast enough. It was fast, effective and dried over wounds. I know, pretty disgusting, but at the same time I have to admit I might be trying it the next time I have a paper cut.
(Those boogers hurt!)


Another interesting fact is a radio station had heard about super glues and decided to put them to the test at a local junk yard. Among the super glues tested were many of the National Brands on the market today. The test was to hold a hanging car from a crane and the Super Glue Corporation product was the best! (Some of competitor's currently have "hanging things" like people, & television sets, but nothing compares to the strength of hanging cars!) Amazing right, HERE'S a picture for ya.

So with this new found knowledge, I have a feeling I'm going to be very mean to Mr. Clean for doing this to me. *evil grin*. (Yeah, I'm a sucker for punishment.)

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Learn Your Lesson...

So it turns out I've finally learned that you don't mess with a Green Berra. So it turns out today I spent nearly half the morning trying to figure out how to open a bottle of rubbing alcohol with only my thumbs. You're probably wondering why. Well to put it simply Mr. Clean finally got me.

True, true, seems impossible, but yes. This morning I walked the halls of shame and made every assistant librarian and our director snort in laughter. So what happened... well...

Mr. Clean super glued my fingers to my keyboard... yes... it's true.


How did he do it? Put it simply he put the glue on seconds before I got to my desk. When I put my fingers down on the keys, well... they were stuck. So I ended up having to rip the keyboard out of the PC and go to the break room to remove it. Fun times... fun times...

Anyhoo, now all the patrons are asking what happened and embarrassed as I am, I have to explain.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Switcharoo

Long time, hahaha... what can I say the library has been exceptionally busy. (Though I have to admit I've been sleeping through most of it.) With the blessed Summer Reading Program finally over, I no longer had to hide in a closet to get away from the kiddies.

Anyhoo, today has been so hilarious I couldn't help wanting to mention it while I was thinking about it. As you all know Mr. Clean is a stickler for protocol, and I have this wonderful talent of getting him mad. Well to put things simply, I got him really mad today. (I'm childish I know, but you can't be serious all the time.) So today, I had this wonderful idea of peeling the woman's bathroom sign off the bathroom and sticking it on the door to his office. (Surprising he gets an office right?) I put his name plate on the woman's bathroom. (Okay so I got this from AGT but I couldn't help it. The evilness came out when I saw it.)

So what happens halfway through the day. About ten women walk into his office. Of course he has no clue what's going on and directs them to the restroom. By the twelfth time, I think he was getting tired of it. So guess what he does, comes to ask me why it is everyone is coming to his itsy bitsy office. *shrug*

Ten minutes later...

Let's just say I was cutting up in the attic to keep away from the red headed Mr. Clean. So for the rest of the day it was hide-and-go-seek with the library assistant. Ain't life grand!!!

You got to love Librarian-Hood...