Mission... stalk patron...

What a day it's been?! First off a patron really got our new assistant mad. Mr. Clean, much like the commercials is bald, and so he was beet red mad. Thankfully, I stepped in in time, I didn't think that idiot patron wanted to get hit by a Green Berra. (Don't ask me how I know he was in the US ARMY. *that's probably why there's marks on the file room door*)

Anyhoo, we have this on patron we know of as Mr. Anonymous. He's a pain in every situation when he comes in. Usually it's with his wife and two kids. I don't know about you, but I think the dude is bored. Well anyway, he was walking around the library looking at books when I noticed him start looking around and knew he was up to something.

Suddenly he starts speed walking around the library humming the Mission Impossible song. Now with Mr. Clean he's very conscious about sound in the library. (To an ungodly level.) So he starts tracking Mr. Anonymous down and tells him to, politely, 'Shut Up.'

Well, the guy suddenly bursts into tears and yells, 'Why won't you people just leave me alone?!'

That's when I intervine. Mr. Clean is still walking around fuming about it, as for me I'm getting a kick out of his red ears. HAHAHA!!!

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Rambunctious Assisant and Jamaica

This story is just to hilarious to pass up. Today was one of those slow days. (Surprising for a Monday, got to tell you.) Unfortunately half of our staff is sick. (Yahoo for a canceled staff meeting, boo to no nap!) So I'm spending my time up at the front desk for a change and not in the back corner and my comfort zone. (No naps and online Cafe World for me, man!)

Now I have no problems with assistants as long as I'm not around them. But I love Rambunctious Assistant, call it our collective stupidity, but we get along well. As it turns out she always takes care of those patrons that come in and say that they lost their library card.

SCENE:

Patron: Ma'am: "I lost my library card and need to replace it."

(Our library cards come free for the first time, and then cost a patron ten dollars for a new one.)

Rambunctious Assistant: "Alright, it will be ten dollars for a new card, and you have to pay me ten dollars for my vacation to Jamaica as well."

Patron looks at Rambunctious Assistant. R.A. looks at Patron without cracking a smile. (Believe me, when R.A. wants to be serious, she can be serious. *even when she's kidding*) Patron shrugs and pulls out a twenty and gets their new library card. Rambunctious Assistant assigns a computer to the patron and the transaction is over.

For a moment I'm completely stunned and suddenly R.A. starts snickering and whispers: "I can't believe I actually got it!"

Looking over at, R.A. (I'm just shorting her name 'kay.) and ask, "Do you do that every time?!"

R.A. smiles her evil little mastermind grin and says, "Yup, every time."

For a moment all I could do was stare at her wide eyed as she said, "Yup, all I need is about three hundred dollars more and I'm going."

I have to hand it to R.A.she's a genius. To think she's gotten well over six hundred dollars from unsuspecting patrons and their innocent idiocy. ( We have to do something with our time, and tricking patrons is a pass-time for us librarians) She's been doing it for a couple of years now, and some patrons laugh with her when they think she's joking, but that patron was unsuspecting and I'm sorry for that patron.(Though... not really...) She told me it doesn't always work, and that one time a guy gave he thirty dollars to fund her trip. I got a kick out of that. And here I thought I was evil....

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Confidential Files

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to break into confidential files in our library. Good Lord!!! It literally has a room of it's own. *scratching head* I'm almost wanting to ask Mr. Clean if he learned how to break-and-enter when he was in the army.

Anyhoo, nice day to be at work, or at least it was until Mr. X came in. I call him that because of a small experience I had with him, he's a major league paranoid guy, but he acts all macho man. Now I have no problem with him until he starts asking about anything we might have on UFO's or Roswell. (If you don't know about Roswell, I think it's about time to get yourself well informed.)

Sometimes I wish Mr. Clean worked on Saturdays, he kept people from asking me reference questions and now I barely have time to do anything else!!! HELP MR. CLEAN!!! So me and Mr. X spent the last two hours going over every possible book about anything I knew about UFO's. (I know a lot considering he comes in once a month!) As always same books, and then he starts giving me the nerves because he tells me all of this stuff about UFO's and alien abductions. Now I can't even go near the confidential files room without getting scared!!!

WHAT IS WITH THAT GUY?!?!?

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Spook

*Hitching coat* Yup, that's right, that's my new nickname thanks to the new assistant Mr. Clean. I feel like Mulder off of X-Files. (For those out there that don't know it, his nickname was Spook.) I want to get a name tag that says that. But your probably wondering how it is I got that nickname.

Well for the past week I've put all my skills into Mr. Clean's own prank. Like I've said before in our library we have an initiation scare and no one else had the guts to try it. (Call me stupid, or I just plan have a death wish, but I had to try and scare this ex-military.) All week, I've been trying to sneak up on him to no avail. (This guy has ears like a bat, I got to tell you.) It *finally* happened today, I'm feeling really high and mighty.

Anyhoo, it was when we were in the back shuffle room, and it was just him. So with ever increasing care, and thanks to the honking loud book sorting machine, I sneaked up on him. Of course I made it look like I needed his help with a file and he literally jumped a mile high and let out a stream of cuss words that would have made a sailor blush. (I'm not sure if he was one. I still haven't had a chance to sneak into the 'confidential' files.) He sure was angry and I thought he was going to give me a nice smack or more likely knuckle punch or upper cut *as all the guys like to call them*. Thankfully he refrained from doing so.

So when he finally came out of the shuffling room in the back, still beet red with embarrassment at having been caught at his own game. Mr Clean said, "Hey Spook how you doing?"

All the assistants were a bit confused until he tapped me on the shoulder and I said, "Fine."

(That's probably when I realized he was talking to me.) So now all the assistants are calling me Spook. I got to say, I'm loving it. Though all the patrons keep giving my assistants a funny look when they call me that.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Who is this guy?!?

Alright, 'ghost mode' isn't working so well. WHO IN THE WORLD IS THIS GUY?! Some Navy SEAL or something!!! He always seems to find me. I almost want to give up, but...

*evil grin*

I have one more trick up my sleeve, hope it works... Anyways, as it turns out he isn't too bad of an assistant, though he's still at page level and think's he's a know-it-all when it comes to a library. Asked him what ALA (For all of you that don't know what that is, its American Library Association. You can look it up.) was and he gave me this 'huh' look. Got to say, he gives me some laughs even though I have to sneak to get on this blog. (It's kind of thrilling having to sneak around, I haven't had that for a while.)

In other news, less reference questions from patrons. (I think they are afraid of him.) And, every other staff member has fallen in love with Mr. Clean. (I don't quite understand it though, he's just so... irritating.) But I'm loving the less reference questiosn, I got to tell you. (Sorry upset patrons, it ain't my fault!)

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

Looking Over Shoulder....

Reason for that title, because that's what I have to do right now. The new guy I call Mr. Clean is always hovering over my shoulder. That's one reason I haven't posted any lately, I'm in constant fear of being caught. It feels like a security guard is always on my tail-end.

So the new guy started this week, and boy is he interesting to say the least. Right now, I have him doing the dirty spring cleaning in our hide-away shelves for our reference/college dudes. It's a fun job, hopefully it will keep him for a while.

Anyhoo, new guy, right, well let's just say he's....clean... First off, he's military, which makes him very organized and well... clean. It's hilarious how he gripes about the men's bathroom, and we are all looking at each other wondering where in the world he's been. I can't help but laugh. He hates me even though I'm his boss. (It must have to do with the fact my desk in constantly in disarray. *I call it organized chaos until someone touches it* **hint,hint**) So as of today, he is considered Mr. Clean and I'm going to have to go into 'ghost mode' to get out of his radar range.

You got to love Librarian-Hood...

NEW... wait GUY!!!!

So it seems... The Director has chosen the new assistant since Ms. Nervous isn't coming back. And wouldn't you guess it, it's a GUY!!! I'm nervously trying to maintain my cool, since today is his official first day. Only as of reciently did we start getting guy volunteers, so the idea of actually having a guy working in the library all day long is... frightening.

I have nothing against guys, I have no problem staring from my peep hole worth of books in front of me. But actually having to TEACH the guy... foreboding... (I guess it comes from all the Monday morning staff meeting I sleep in on, I keep getting picked for work I don't want to do.)

So here I am, trying not to look as stupid and a little on the OCD that I happen to have a problem with. Let's just hope he can't find the reference desk in this large library.

*finger's crossed*

You got to love Librarian-Hood...