So today was an exceptionally interesting one. One of my many joys of the day is taking a stroll through the stacks. (It's more to get away from the director and assistants then anything.) It takes a good thirty minutes to walk around and make sure my assistants are doing there job (with a glazed look in their eyes).
As I'm walking past the young adult section of our library, suddenly a book goes flying by my nose. It was a close call and all I could do was stand there stunned. Backing up a step, I'm thinking, "Holy Guacamole, what in the world?!?!"
Looking over, I notice the book is one of our most popular in the teen sections, Fang by James Patterson which had taken a slide under one of the study desks in the section. Slowly I turn the corner and see a girl pacing back and forth muttering.
I made sure to have the book in hand in case there were anymore flying books that might come. Coming up to her, she yells, "I can't believe Fang did that!!!"
Not being as savee about YA fiction (Young Adult), I asked her what was up and why she had thrown the book. She looks up at me and blushes with embarrassment, grabs the book and slinks away before answering my question. That is one of the most interesting experience I have yet had at the library.
I now dub the girl , 'Book Thrower'. Let's just see how many books she throws at my assistants.
*evil grin*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Friday, October 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
History
As it turns out, after spending a day stuck to a keyboard, you really start getting interested in the history of super glue. Since my friends keep telling me I need to stop pranking people and telling, I decided, hey why not tell you guys the history of super glue.
The actual name from the chemical we all know as super (and/or crazy) glue is in fact called, cyanoacrylates. Yeah, real tongue twister. As it turns out it was discovered in 1942, but was quickly abandoned because, face it, it sticks to EVERYTHING. Well about ten years later a couple of researchers saw it's value and thus we have it today.
An interesting fact about super glue, is during the Vietnam war it was used as a wound adhesive because doctors could not sew up patients fast enough. It was fast, effective and dried over wounds. I know, pretty disgusting, but at the same time I have to admit I might be trying it the next time I have a paper cut.
(Those boogers hurt!)
Another interesting fact is a radio station had heard about super glues and decided to put them to the test at a local junk yard. Among the super glues tested were many of the National Brands on the market today. The test was to hold a hanging car from a crane and the Super Glue Corporation product was the best! (Some of competitor's currently have "hanging things" like people, & television sets, but nothing compares to the strength of hanging cars!) Amazing right, HERE'S a picture for ya.
So with this new found knowledge, I have a feeling I'm going to be very mean to Mr. Clean for doing this to me. *evil grin*. (Yeah, I'm a sucker for punishment.)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
The actual name from the chemical we all know as super (and/or crazy) glue is in fact called, cyanoacrylates. Yeah, real tongue twister. As it turns out it was discovered in 1942, but was quickly abandoned because, face it, it sticks to EVERYTHING. Well about ten years later a couple of researchers saw it's value and thus we have it today.
An interesting fact about super glue, is during the Vietnam war it was used as a wound adhesive because doctors could not sew up patients fast enough. It was fast, effective and dried over wounds. I know, pretty disgusting, but at the same time I have to admit I might be trying it the next time I have a paper cut.
(Those boogers hurt!)
Another interesting fact is a radio station had heard about super glues and decided to put them to the test at a local junk yard. Among the super glues tested were many of the National Brands on the market today. The test was to hold a hanging car from a crane and the Super Glue Corporation product was the best! (Some of competitor's currently have "hanging things" like people, & television sets, but nothing compares to the strength of hanging cars!) Amazing right, HERE'S a picture for ya.
So with this new found knowledge, I have a feeling I'm going to be very mean to Mr. Clean for doing this to me. *evil grin*. (Yeah, I'm a sucker for punishment.)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Monday, September 20, 2010
Learn Your Lesson...
So it turns out I've finally learned that you don't mess with a Green Berra. So it turns out today I spent nearly half the morning trying to figure out how to open a bottle of rubbing alcohol with only my thumbs. You're probably wondering why. Well to put it simply Mr. Clean finally got me.
True, true, seems impossible, but yes. This morning I walked the halls of shame and made every assistant librarian and our director snort in laughter. So what happened... well...
Mr. Clean super glued my fingers to my keyboard... yes... it's true.
How did he do it? Put it simply he put the glue on seconds before I got to my desk. When I put my fingers down on the keys, well... they were stuck. So I ended up having to rip the keyboard out of the PC and go to the break room to remove it. Fun times... fun times...
Anyhoo, now all the patrons are asking what happened and embarrassed as I am, I have to explain.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
True, true, seems impossible, but yes. This morning I walked the halls of shame and made every assistant librarian and our director snort in laughter. So what happened... well...
Mr. Clean super glued my fingers to my keyboard... yes... it's true.
How did he do it? Put it simply he put the glue on seconds before I got to my desk. When I put my fingers down on the keys, well... they were stuck. So I ended up having to rip the keyboard out of the PC and go to the break room to remove it. Fun times... fun times...
Anyhoo, now all the patrons are asking what happened and embarrassed as I am, I have to explain.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Friday, September 17, 2010
Switcharoo
Long time, hahaha... what can I say the library has been exceptionally busy. (Though I have to admit I've been sleeping through most of it.) With the blessed Summer Reading Program finally over, I no longer had to hide in a closet to get away from the kiddies.
Anyhoo, today has been so hilarious I couldn't help wanting to mention it while I was thinking about it. As you all know Mr. Clean is a stickler for protocol, and I have this wonderful talent of getting him mad. Well to put things simply, I got him really mad today. (I'm childish I know, but you can't be serious all the time.) So today, I had this wonderful idea of peeling the woman's bathroom sign off the bathroom and sticking it on the door to his office. (Surprising he gets an office right?) I put his name plate on the woman's bathroom. (Okay so I got this from AGT but I couldn't help it. The evilness came out when I saw it.)
So what happens halfway through the day. About ten women walk into his office. Of course he has no clue what's going on and directs them to the restroom. By the twelfth time, I think he was getting tired of it. So guess what he does, comes to ask me why it is everyone is coming to his itsy bitsy office. *shrug*
Ten minutes later...
Let's just say I was cutting up in the attic to keep away from the red headed Mr. Clean. So for the rest of the day it was hide-and-go-seek with the library assistant. Ain't life grand!!!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Anyhoo, today has been so hilarious I couldn't help wanting to mention it while I was thinking about it. As you all know Mr. Clean is a stickler for protocol, and I have this wonderful talent of getting him mad. Well to put things simply, I got him really mad today. (I'm childish I know, but you can't be serious all the time.) So today, I had this wonderful idea of peeling the woman's bathroom sign off the bathroom and sticking it on the door to his office. (Surprising he gets an office right?) I put his name plate on the woman's bathroom. (Okay so I got this from AGT but I couldn't help it. The evilness came out when I saw it.)
So what happens halfway through the day. About ten women walk into his office. Of course he has no clue what's going on and directs them to the restroom. By the twelfth time, I think he was getting tired of it. So guess what he does, comes to ask me why it is everyone is coming to his itsy bitsy office. *shrug*
Ten minutes later...
Let's just say I was cutting up in the attic to keep away from the red headed Mr. Clean. So for the rest of the day it was hide-and-go-seek with the library assistant. Ain't life grand!!!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The Mysterious Alphabetizer
Now there is this one volunteer that is what we call 'the fastest draw of the west'. She comes in like a Amtrak on it's way to Chicago, (or slicker then snot). Our Director puts her on page duty. (This usually in-tells shelving books and straightening up the shelves.) The reason why we call her 'the fastest draw' is just that. She wheels through the library at a pace that sets her apart from the rest.
She can shelve a book cart worth of books in our library in less then thirty minutes. (If you don't know what a book cart look like I think it's about time you visit the library. *Most consist of three shelves on both sides. They can fit between ten and thirty books depending on the size of the book.*) Now to be able to put up that many books in such a short stint of time is impossible. Believe me, I've tried it and failed.
But Ms. M.A. is mysterious that way. (That's why I call her Ms. M.A.) Everyone in the library has checked her work and unbelievably, it's always correct! (It looks like it's about time to go on an expodition and watch her like Sherlock Holmes. *evil grin*)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
She can shelve a book cart worth of books in our library in less then thirty minutes. (If you don't know what a book cart look like I think it's about time you visit the library. *Most consist of three shelves on both sides. They can fit between ten and thirty books depending on the size of the book.*) Now to be able to put up that many books in such a short stint of time is impossible. Believe me, I've tried it and failed.
But Ms. M.A. is mysterious that way. (That's why I call her Ms. M.A.) Everyone in the library has checked her work and unbelievably, it's always correct! (It looks like it's about time to go on an expodition and watch her like Sherlock Holmes. *evil grin*)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Saturday, July 17, 2010
The Break Room...
Now an interesting fact for all you patrons is, that just like any other working class group there is usually a break room in a library. That's right, it's behind the scenes and away from your eyes. The break room is another one of those blessed rooms where librarians can have a breather.
Our break room consists of two small round tables, seven chairs, a couch, and a small kitchenette, with fridge. This is where most of us spend our lunches because, face it, the mattress in the attic calls too often during break times. But the fact is the lunch room is one of the most fun places to eat, because that is where all the pranks and hilarious pictures are taken.
*For example, last years book party led to one of our librarians getting doused with pink punch on her white suit. Someone was fortunate to get a great photo of it (and her horrified expression.^_~). Then there are the book shifter room funny pictures. One of which we call the galotine. (I'll explain that later.) *
But then there is the fridge of this room. The bad thing about it is the forgotten foods of all our librarians. Like the S.R.P. pizza that has been in there for... well... I don't know how long, and then there is our directors cakes that seem to always find their way into the back of the fridge (did I mention their growing fur?). For myself, I keep away from the fridge, and every now and again have to take a picture of it to post of the 'Wall of Weirdness'. (As we call it.) Every now and again I put it at the information desk. (just to be a bit evil) Sometimes I embarrass them into cleaning out the fridge. (Don't ask me to do it, it's radioactive material to me.)
So for all our craziness and enjoyment of pranks, the break room is one of our favorites. I'll talk about some of those pranks on another day...*evil grin*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Our break room consists of two small round tables, seven chairs, a couch, and a small kitchenette, with fridge. This is where most of us spend our lunches because, face it, the mattress in the attic calls too often during break times. But the fact is the lunch room is one of the most fun places to eat, because that is where all the pranks and hilarious pictures are taken.
*For example, last years book party led to one of our librarians getting doused with pink punch on her white suit. Someone was fortunate to get a great photo of it (and her horrified expression.^_~). Then there are the book shifter room funny pictures. One of which we call the galotine. (I'll explain that later.) *
But then there is the fridge of this room. The bad thing about it is the forgotten foods of all our librarians. Like the S.R.P. pizza that has been in there for... well... I don't know how long, and then there is our directors cakes that seem to always find their way into the back of the fridge (did I mention their growing fur?). For myself, I keep away from the fridge, and every now and again have to take a picture of it to post of the 'Wall of Weirdness'. (As we call it.) Every now and again I put it at the information desk. (just to be a bit evil) Sometimes I embarrass them into cleaning out the fridge. (Don't ask me to do it, it's radioactive material to me.)
So for all our craziness and enjoyment of pranks, the break room is one of our favorites. I'll talk about some of those pranks on another day...*evil grin*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Friday, July 16, 2010
One question...
Well today has been a strange day. Because of a lot of recent sickness as out library, I find myself at the front desk. (One of the most dread seats in the library. *to me*) So it turns out that being a reference librarian does have it's perks, but at the same time the most idiotic questions are asked, and I just can't help sharing them.
1.) Where's the bathroom?
2.) Do you know where that yellow book is?
3.) Have you seen a kid with a bike around here?
4.) Where's the computer lab?
5.) *my all time favorite* how do you check out a book?
I can't help wanting to laugh at these. Now to most patrons they seem like legit questions, but to us librarians we want to laugh. Half of these questions can be answered by looking at the signs, the other half are just plain weird.
Now I understand why I chose to work the reference desk, you get to sleep, read, and get your assistants to do the work for you. (I miss Mr. Clean and his temper!) So till I can figure out a way to get away from this forever morbid desk, I'll be dying to over exposure.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
1.) Where's the bathroom?
2.) Do you know where that yellow book is?
3.) Have you seen a kid with a bike around here?
4.) Where's the computer lab?
5.) *my all time favorite* how do you check out a book?
I can't help wanting to laugh at these. Now to most patrons they seem like legit questions, but to us librarians we want to laugh. Half of these questions can be answered by looking at the signs, the other half are just plain weird.
Now I understand why I chose to work the reference desk, you get to sleep, read, and get your assistants to do the work for you. (I miss Mr. Clean and his temper!) So till I can figure out a way to get away from this forever morbid desk, I'll be dying to over exposure.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Sound Smart
Alright, it's time to stop talking about the craziness of the library and look at a little something more interesting. (I can be smart, when I want to.) One of my friends that has taken the time to look at my blog has asked I talk about the libraries and at least talk a bit about my job. (Why?)
So okay, let's talk something smart, how about the fact that across the U.S.of A. libraries are being closed because of budget cuts in the government. If you don't believe me, just click it HERE. In just Boston area alone four libraries will be shut down within nine months.This is something that is becoming more and more prevalent in the US, if not the world.
Most people don't realize how important libraries are in the grand scheme of things. In just our library alone there has been a 20% growth in circulation, and about a 30% rise in patron count. If that isn't saying something then THIS should. (I got to say, I have a lot a questions asked to me in a day. I feel like I'm working the front desk sometimes.)
So think about it, help the library out some, volunteer a bit, give us some donations, who knows that little penny could mean keeping our doors open or not. (Not to mention allow me to continue sleeping at work.)
Like one of my favored peep's said: 'Without libraries, there can be no form of government.'
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
So okay, let's talk something smart, how about the fact that across the U.S.of A. libraries are being closed because of budget cuts in the government. If you don't believe me, just click it HERE. In just Boston area alone four libraries will be shut down within nine months.This is something that is becoming more and more prevalent in the US, if not the world.
Most people don't realize how important libraries are in the grand scheme of things. In just our library alone there has been a 20% growth in circulation, and about a 30% rise in patron count. If that isn't saying something then THIS should. (I got to say, I have a lot a questions asked to me in a day. I feel like I'm working the front desk sometimes.)
So think about it, help the library out some, volunteer a bit, give us some donations, who knows that little penny could mean keeping our doors open or not. (Not to mention allow me to continue sleeping at work.)
Like one of my favored peep's said: 'Without libraries, there can be no form of government.'
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The real REFeree...
So today was one of those days. Now the library is pretty big, but even then you can hear people yelling at one another from my small corner in the back of the library. Mr. Clean of course is trying to intervene between two woman that decide to have a cat fight, literally, next to the children's room. (You can just imagine all the round eyed kids.) Mr. Clean of course can't do a thing. (He's a guy after all and his threats are useless against two women about to pull each others hair out.)
Well, I'm not one to interfer with other peoples affairs, but these women were interferring with my afternoon nap. (Everyone in the library knows that's a no-no.) So I get up, and walk past my other assistants, who duck after seeing the look on my face. The women are now getting a little physical with each other. I get in between them and each give them my deadly glare.
They instantly quiet as I snarl, "If you keep this up, I'll show you what a cat fight is."
One of the woman steps up to challenge, but I don't give her a minute, grabbing her by an ear I send her out the door. The other woman watches and I almost laughed at the look on her face, but she quickly slinked out after the other woman. Mr. Clean had a 'how in the world' look on his face (as well as all the patrons that had come to watch) as I walked back to my desk and finished enjoying my afternoon nap. (I think I will be receiving a lot of thank you cards later on.)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Well, I'm not one to interfer with other peoples affairs, but these women were interferring with my afternoon nap. (Everyone in the library knows that's a no-no.) So I get up, and walk past my other assistants, who duck after seeing the look on my face. The women are now getting a little physical with each other. I get in between them and each give them my deadly glare.
They instantly quiet as I snarl, "If you keep this up, I'll show you what a cat fight is."
One of the woman steps up to challenge, but I don't give her a minute, grabbing her by an ear I send her out the door. The other woman watches and I almost laughed at the look on her face, but she quickly slinked out after the other woman. Mr. Clean had a 'how in the world' look on his face (as well as all the patrons that had come to watch) as I walked back to my desk and finished enjoying my afternoon nap. (I think I will be receiving a lot of thank you cards later on.)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Monday, July 12, 2010
Private Investigator REF & Mr. Clean
Okay, today nearly left me in tears. For me, as the reference librarian, I have some of the most amazing experiences with the public that I don't often mention. But today was exceptional. A woman came in today looking for her father. Now this woman is about forty and has two kids with her. She came up and asked me over my books, "Could you help me find someone?"
I looked up from my computer and ask, "Someone in the library?"
"Not exactly... I'm looking for my father."
Now this is where she spills her guts about her father having been a war hero, who had disappeared when she was born, but for some reason beyond me, she was trying to find him. Call it reconciliation, but it was touching. Now according to policy we don't provide those kinds of services. But before I knew it I was saying yes. (I didn't want to change the AC filter *or untie the idiot assistant*) So I went into a large search, asking her everything she could remember about her father.
Right about the time I was starting to find some leads Mr. Clean shows up. Now for some reason ever since the iniciation scare he's been kind of cold shouldered and almost like my boss. He asks me what I'm doing, and I just shrug and say, 'Hunting.'
He finds out, tells me it's not policy and I tell him to shut up. (HAHAHA! I'm cold hearted towards him, he needs to get one. *a heart I mean*) I just keep searching while he drowns on about policy and about work ethic, and all that junk.(I'm good at selective hearing.) Right about that time, I'm calling a police department in Detroit of all places to ask then for any info they might have on this woman's father.
Bingo! I found something, Mr. Clean for once stops talking and being such a pain in the rear and helps. By the time the woman came back from story hour, I had her father's phone number, home address and everything else I could find. (Hopefully I have the right guy here.) She thanked us, gave us each thirty bucks and left. (Whoa, I'm going to have a good lunch thinking about that.)
Mr. Clean actually smiled at me for once and we went about our work, me sleeping, Mr. Clean doing whatever he does in the stacks. It was tear jerking and very gratifying. Thank you, Mrs. Patron-with-missing-father.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
I looked up from my computer and ask, "Someone in the library?"
"Not exactly... I'm looking for my father."
Now this is where she spills her guts about her father having been a war hero, who had disappeared when she was born, but for some reason beyond me, she was trying to find him. Call it reconciliation, but it was touching. Now according to policy we don't provide those kinds of services. But before I knew it I was saying yes. (I didn't want to change the AC filter *or untie the idiot assistant*) So I went into a large search, asking her everything she could remember about her father.
Right about the time I was starting to find some leads Mr. Clean shows up. Now for some reason ever since the iniciation scare he's been kind of cold shouldered and almost like my boss. He asks me what I'm doing, and I just shrug and say, 'Hunting.'
He finds out, tells me it's not policy and I tell him to shut up. (HAHAHA! I'm cold hearted towards him, he needs to get one. *a heart I mean*) I just keep searching while he drowns on about policy and about work ethic, and all that junk.(I'm good at selective hearing.) Right about that time, I'm calling a police department in Detroit of all places to ask then for any info they might have on this woman's father.
Bingo! I found something, Mr. Clean for once stops talking and being such a pain in the rear and helps. By the time the woman came back from story hour, I had her father's phone number, home address and everything else I could find. (Hopefully I have the right guy here.) She thanked us, gave us each thirty bucks and left. (Whoa, I'm going to have a good lunch thinking about that.)
Mr. Clean actually smiled at me for once and we went about our work, me sleeping, Mr. Clean doing whatever he does in the stacks. It was tear jerking and very gratifying. Thank you, Mrs. Patron-with-missing-father.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Evil...
...the assistant is here...
I wonder if this guy feels a chill going up his spin.... Anyhoo, let's talk about that door leading into that scary place in the attic. It is the mechanic's closet, it's pretty much a long unfinished hall against the roof where the elevator pulleys and the AC unit are. It's extremely creepy and very seldom do we go up there. In fact we draw straws to see who will change the AC units filter once a month.
So for that poor unsuspecting assistant, he will be staying there the night. Call it whatever you want. But I will quote one who knows what they are talking about, 'Revenge is a dish best served cold.'
You've got to love Librarian-Hood...
I wonder if this guy feels a chill going up his spin.... Anyhoo, let's talk about that door leading into that scary place in the attic. It is the mechanic's closet, it's pretty much a long unfinished hall against the roof where the elevator pulleys and the AC unit are. It's extremely creepy and very seldom do we go up there. In fact we draw straws to see who will change the AC units filter once a month.
So for that poor unsuspecting assistant, he will be staying there the night. Call it whatever you want. But I will quote one who knows what they are talking about, 'Revenge is a dish best served cold.'
You've got to love Librarian-Hood...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
The Attic
Alright, our library is pretty big... as you can probably guess from the fact we have one too many librarians, and assistant librarians, and, and, and... So to make it simple I'll explain our library, it's two stories, with a large attic that can one day be converted into a third.
(A fact for all wayward patrons: A library is built to last for well over thirty years. What is taken into consideration when a library is built is the fact of growth in the community, and patron usage of the library. Our library was built ten years ago and thus contains another floor for further use in the future. It's called the 60-40 rule.)
So the attic as we all call it now, is huge, kind of like a basketball court double-sized. For us librarians, it is a sanctuary, especially for me and the mattress that has *somehow* found it's way up there. The attic consists of boxes of decorations for every plausible holiday, craft supplies for the summer, rewards for the summer read program, and shelves of books for our 'closed-off' reference books. So when we each have our ten minute breaks, we either go up there and read at one of the long tables that are up there for when the time comes to open up shop, or sleep on the mattress.
But!... there is a door there leading to a very scary place... a place the idiot assistant will be going to soon... *evil grin*
(A fact for all wayward patrons: A library is built to last for well over thirty years. What is taken into consideration when a library is built is the fact of growth in the community, and patron usage of the library. Our library was built ten years ago and thus contains another floor for further use in the future. It's called the 60-40 rule.)
So the attic as we all call it now, is huge, kind of like a basketball court double-sized. For us librarians, it is a sanctuary, especially for me and the mattress that has *somehow* found it's way up there. The attic consists of boxes of decorations for every plausible holiday, craft supplies for the summer, rewards for the summer read program, and shelves of books for our 'closed-off' reference books. So when we each have our ten minute breaks, we either go up there and read at one of the long tables that are up there for when the time comes to open up shop, or sleep on the mattress.
But!... there is a door there leading to a very scary place... a place the idiot assistant will be going to soon... *evil grin*
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The Flu...
Not pretty...
This is what I get for talking to patrons. So I'm alive, for all of my adoring (looking down at followers) ... fan... anyhoo, as it turns out half the staff is down with the flu thanks to an idiot assistant that thought it was alright to come to the library when they had the flu.
(To any library volunteers out there, DON'T EVER COME TO THE LIBRARY WHEN YOU ARE SICK!!! *we willkill you*)
So I've been out of commission for a over a week and am now going after the idiot assistant that did this to me. (Awe the joys of librarian-hood) As for Mr. Clean (healthy as a horse), I think he was enjoying the fact I was gone for a week. When he saw me come in his smile disappeared into a frown. (I don't think it was a frown of concern.) So this is a warning to the idiot assistant, if you ever dare come to this library while I'm here, I'm hunting you down, hog tying you, and throwing you in the attic!
You got to love Librarian-Hood....
This is what I get for talking to patrons. So I'm alive, for all of my adoring (looking down at followers) ... fan... anyhoo, as it turns out half the staff is down with the flu thanks to an idiot assistant that thought it was alright to come to the library when they had the flu.
(To any library volunteers out there, DON'T EVER COME TO THE LIBRARY WHEN YOU ARE SICK!!! *we will
So I've been out of commission for a over a week and am now going after the idiot assistant that did this to me. (Awe the joys of librarian-hood) As for Mr. Clean (healthy as a horse), I think he was enjoying the fact I was gone for a week. When he saw me come in his smile disappeared into a frown. (I don't think it was a frown of concern.) So this is a warning to the idiot assistant, if you ever dare come to this library while I'm here, I'm hunting you down, hog tying you, and throwing you in the attic!
You got to love Librarian-Hood....
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Mission... stalk patron...
What a day it's been?! First off a patron really got our new assistant mad. Mr. Clean, much like the commercials is bald, and so he was beet red mad. Thankfully, I stepped in in time, I didn't think that idiot patron wanted to get hit by a Green Berra. (Don't ask me how I know he was in the US ARMY. *that's probably why there's marks on the file room door*)
Anyhoo, we have this on patron we know of as Mr. Anonymous. He's a pain in every situation when he comes in. Usually it's with his wife and two kids. I don't know about you, but I think the dude is bored. Well anyway, he was walking around the library looking at books when I noticed him start looking around and knew he was up to something.
Suddenly he starts speed walking around the library humming the Mission Impossible song. Now with Mr. Clean he's very conscious about sound in the library. (To an ungodly level.) So he starts tracking Mr. Anonymous down and tells him to, politely, 'Shut Up.'
Well, the guy suddenly bursts into tears and yells, 'Why won't you people just leave me alone?!'
That's when I intervine. Mr. Clean is still walking around fuming about it, as for me I'm getting a kick out of his red ears. HAHAHA!!!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Anyhoo, we have this on patron we know of as Mr. Anonymous. He's a pain in every situation when he comes in. Usually it's with his wife and two kids. I don't know about you, but I think the dude is bored. Well anyway, he was walking around the library looking at books when I noticed him start looking around and knew he was up to something.
Suddenly he starts speed walking around the library humming the Mission Impossible song. Now with Mr. Clean he's very conscious about sound in the library. (To an ungodly level.) So he starts tracking Mr. Anonymous down and tells him to, politely, 'Shut Up.'
Well, the guy suddenly bursts into tears and yells, 'Why won't you people just leave me alone?!'
That's when I intervine. Mr. Clean is still walking around fuming about it, as for me I'm getting a kick out of his red ears. HAHAHA!!!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Rambunctious Assisant and Jamaica
This story is just to hilarious to pass up. Today was one of those slow days. (Surprising for a Monday, got to tell you.) Unfortunately half of our staff is sick. (Yahoo for a canceled staff meeting, boo to no nap!) So I'm spending my time up at the front desk for a change and not in the back corner and my comfort zone. (No naps and online Cafe World for me, man!)
Now I have no problems with assistants as long as I'm not around them. But I love Rambunctious Assistant, call it our collective stupidity, but we get along well. As it turns out she always takes care of those patrons that come in and say that they lost their library card.
SCENE:
Patron: Ma'am: "I lost my library card and need to replace it."
(Our library cards come free for the first time, and then cost a patron ten dollars for a new one.)
Rambunctious Assistant: "Alright, it will be ten dollars for a new card, and you have to pay me ten dollars for my vacation to Jamaica as well."
Patron looks at Rambunctious Assistant. R.A. looks at Patron without cracking a smile. (Believe me, when R.A. wants to be serious, she can be serious. *even when she's kidding*) Patron shrugs and pulls out a twenty and gets their new library card. Rambunctious Assistant assigns a computer to the patron and the transaction is over.
For a moment I'm completely stunned and suddenly R.A. starts snickering and whispers: "I can't believe I actually got it!"
Looking over at, R.A. (I'm just shorting her name 'kay.) and ask, "Do you do that every time?!"
R.A. smiles her evil little mastermind grin and says, "Yup, every time."
For a moment all I could do was stare at her wide eyed as she said, "Yup, all I need is about three hundred dollars more and I'm going."
I have to hand it to R.A.she's a genius. To think she's gotten well over six hundred dollars from unsuspecting patrons and their innocent idiocy. ( We have to do something with our time, and tricking patrons is a pass-time for us librarians) She's been doing it for a couple of years now, and some patrons laugh with her when they think she's joking, but that patron was unsuspecting and I'm sorry for that patron.(Though... not really...) She told me it doesn't always work, and that one time a guy gave he thirty dollars to fund her trip. I got a kick out of that. And here I thought I was evil....
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Now I have no problems with assistants as long as I'm not around them. But I love Rambunctious Assistant, call it our collective stupidity, but we get along well. As it turns out she always takes care of those patrons that come in and say that they lost their library card.
SCENE:
Patron: Ma'am: "I lost my library card and need to replace it."
(Our library cards come free for the first time, and then cost a patron ten dollars for a new one.)
Rambunctious Assistant: "Alright, it will be ten dollars for a new card, and you have to pay me ten dollars for my vacation to Jamaica as well."
Patron looks at Rambunctious Assistant. R.A. looks at Patron without cracking a smile. (Believe me, when R.A. wants to be serious, she can be serious. *even when she's kidding*) Patron shrugs and pulls out a twenty and gets their new library card. Rambunctious Assistant assigns a computer to the patron and the transaction is over.
For a moment I'm completely stunned and suddenly R.A. starts snickering and whispers: "I can't believe I actually got it!"
Looking over at, R.A. (I'm just shorting her name 'kay.) and ask, "Do you do that every time?!"
R.A. smiles her evil little mastermind grin and says, "Yup, every time."
For a moment all I could do was stare at her wide eyed as she said, "Yup, all I need is about three hundred dollars more and I'm going."
I have to hand it to R.A.she's a genius. To think she's gotten well over six hundred dollars from unsuspecting patrons and their innocent idiocy. ( We have to do something with our time, and tricking patrons is a pass-time for us librarians) She's been doing it for a couple of years now, and some patrons laugh with her when they think she's joking, but that patron was unsuspecting and I'm sorry for that patron.(Though... not really...) She told me it doesn't always work, and that one time a guy gave he thirty dollars to fund her trip. I got a kick out of that. And here I thought I was evil....
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Confidential Files
You wouldn't believe how hard it is to break into confidential files in our library. Good Lord!!! It literally has a room of it's own. *scratching head* I'm almost wanting to ask Mr. Clean if he learned how to break-and-enter when he was in the army.
Anyhoo, nice day to be at work, or at least it was until Mr. X came in. I call him that because of a small experience I had with him, he's a major league paranoid guy, but he acts all macho man. Now I have no problem with him until he starts asking about anything we might have on UFO's or Roswell. (If you don't know about Roswell, I think it's about time to get yourself well informed.)
Sometimes I wish Mr. Clean worked on Saturdays, he kept people from asking me reference questions and now I barely have time to do anything else!!! HELP MR. CLEAN!!! So me and Mr. X spent the last two hours going over every possible book about anything I knew about UFO's. (I know a lot considering he comes in once a month!) As always same books, and then he starts giving me the nerves because he tells me all of this stuff about UFO's and alien abductions. Now I can't even go near the confidential files room without getting scared!!!
WHAT IS WITH THAT GUY?!?!?
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Anyhoo, nice day to be at work, or at least it was until Mr. X came in. I call him that because of a small experience I had with him, he's a major league paranoid guy, but he acts all macho man. Now I have no problem with him until he starts asking about anything we might have on UFO's or Roswell. (If you don't know about Roswell, I think it's about time to get yourself well informed.)
Sometimes I wish Mr. Clean worked on Saturdays, he kept people from asking me reference questions and now I barely have time to do anything else!!! HELP MR. CLEAN!!! So me and Mr. X spent the last two hours going over every possible book about anything I knew about UFO's. (I know a lot considering he comes in once a month!) As always same books, and then he starts giving me the nerves because he tells me all of this stuff about UFO's and alien abductions. Now I can't even go near the confidential files room without getting scared!!!
WHAT IS WITH THAT GUY?!?!?
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Friday, June 25, 2010
Spook
*Hitching coat* Yup, that's right, that's my new nickname thanks to the new assistant Mr. Clean. I feel like Mulder off of X-Files. (For those out there that don't know it, his nickname was Spook.) I want to get a name tag that says that. But your probably wondering how it is I got that nickname.
Well for the past week I've put all my skills into Mr. Clean's own prank. Like I've said before in our library we have an initiation scare and no one else had the guts to try it. (Call me stupid, or I just plan have a death wish, but I had to try and scare this ex-military.) All week, I've been trying to sneak up on him to no avail. (This guy has ears like a bat, I got to tell you.) It *finally* happened today, I'm feeling really high and mighty.
Anyhoo, it was when we were in the back shuffle room, and it was just him. So with ever increasing care, and thanks to the honking loud book sorting machine, I sneaked up on him. Of course I made it look like I needed his help with a file and he literally jumped a mile high and let out a stream of cuss words that would have made a sailor blush. (I'm not sure if he was one. I still haven't had a chance to sneak into the 'confidential' files.) He sure was angry and I thought he was going to give me a nice smack or more likely knuckle punch or upper cut *as all the guys like to call them*. Thankfully he refrained from doing so.
So when he finally came out of the shuffling room in the back, still beet red with embarrassment at having been caught at his own game. Mr Clean said, "Hey Spook how you doing?"
All the assistants were a bit confused until he tapped me on the shoulder and I said, "Fine."
(That's probably when I realized he was talking to me.) So now all the assistants are calling me Spook. I got to say, I'm loving it. Though all the patrons keep giving my assistants a funny look when they call me that.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Well for the past week I've put all my skills into Mr. Clean's own prank. Like I've said before in our library we have an initiation scare and no one else had the guts to try it. (Call me stupid, or I just plan have a death wish, but I had to try and scare this ex-military.) All week, I've been trying to sneak up on him to no avail. (This guy has ears like a bat, I got to tell you.) It *finally* happened today, I'm feeling really high and mighty.
Anyhoo, it was when we were in the back shuffle room, and it was just him. So with ever increasing care, and thanks to the honking loud book sorting machine, I sneaked up on him. Of course I made it look like I needed his help with a file and he literally jumped a mile high and let out a stream of cuss words that would have made a sailor blush. (I'm not sure if he was one. I still haven't had a chance to sneak into the 'confidential' files.) He sure was angry and I thought he was going to give me a nice smack or more likely knuckle punch or upper cut *as all the guys like to call them*. Thankfully he refrained from doing so.
So when he finally came out of the shuffling room in the back, still beet red with embarrassment at having been caught at his own game. Mr Clean said, "Hey Spook how you doing?"
All the assistants were a bit confused until he tapped me on the shoulder and I said, "Fine."
(That's probably when I realized he was talking to me.) So now all the assistants are calling me Spook. I got to say, I'm loving it. Though all the patrons keep giving my assistants a funny look when they call me that.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Who is this guy?!?
Alright, 'ghost mode' isn't working so well. WHO IN THE WORLD IS THIS GUY?! Some Navy SEAL or something!!! He always seems to find me. I almost want to give up, but...
*evil grin*
I have one more trick up my sleeve, hope it works... Anyways, as it turns out he isn't too bad of an assistant, though he's still at page level and think's he's a know-it-all when it comes to a library. Asked him what ALA (For all of you that don't know what that is, its American Library Association. You can look it up.) was and he gave me this 'huh' look. Got to say, he gives me some laughs even though I have to sneak to get on this blog. (It's kind of thrilling having to sneak around, I haven't had that for a while.)
In other news, less reference questions from patrons. (I think they are afraid of him.) And, every other staff member has fallen in love with Mr. Clean. (I don't quite understand it though, he's just so... irritating.) But I'm loving the less reference questiosn, I got to tell you. (Sorry upset patrons, it ain't my fault!)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
*evil grin*
I have one more trick up my sleeve, hope it works... Anyways, as it turns out he isn't too bad of an assistant, though he's still at page level and think's he's a know-it-all when it comes to a library. Asked him what ALA (For all of you that don't know what that is, its American Library Association. You can look it up.) was and he gave me this 'huh' look. Got to say, he gives me some laughs even though I have to sneak to get on this blog. (It's kind of thrilling having to sneak around, I haven't had that for a while.)
In other news, less reference questions from patrons. (I think they are afraid of him.) And, every other staff member has fallen in love with Mr. Clean. (I don't quite understand it though, he's just so... irritating.) But I'm loving the less reference questiosn, I got to tell you. (Sorry upset patrons, it ain't my fault!)
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Friday, June 18, 2010
Looking Over Shoulder....
Reason for that title, because that's what I have to do right now. The new guy I call Mr. Clean is always hovering over my shoulder. That's one reason I haven't posted any lately, I'm in constant fear of being caught. It feels like a security guard is always on my tail-end.
So the new guy started this week, and boy is he interesting to say the least. Right now, I have him doing the dirty spring cleaning in our hide-away shelves for our reference/college dudes. It's a fun job, hopefully it will keep him for a while.
Anyhoo, new guy, right, well let's just say he's....clean... First off, he's military, which makes him very organized and well... clean. It's hilarious how he gripes about the men's bathroom, and we are all looking at each other wondering where in the world he's been. I can't help but laugh. He hates me even though I'm his boss. (It must have to do with the fact my desk in constantly in disarray. *I call it organized chaos until someone touches it* **hint,hint**) So as of today, he is considered Mr. Clean and I'm going to have to go into 'ghost mode' to get out of his radar range.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
So the new guy started this week, and boy is he interesting to say the least. Right now, I have him doing the dirty spring cleaning in our hide-away shelves for our reference/college dudes. It's a fun job, hopefully it will keep him for a while.
Anyhoo, new guy, right, well let's just say he's....clean... First off, he's military, which makes him very organized and well... clean. It's hilarious how he gripes about the men's bathroom, and we are all looking at each other wondering where in the world he's been. I can't help but laugh. He hates me even though I'm his boss. (It must have to do with the fact my desk in constantly in disarray. *I call it organized chaos until someone touches it* **hint,hint**) So as of today, he is considered Mr. Clean and I'm going to have to go into 'ghost mode' to get out of his radar range.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
NEW... wait GUY!!!!
So it seems... The Director has chosen the new assistant since Ms. Nervous isn't coming back. And wouldn't you guess it, it's a GUY!!! I'm nervously trying to maintain my cool, since today is his official first day. Only as of reciently did we start getting guy volunteers, so the idea of actually having a guy working in the library all day long is... frightening.
I have nothing against guys, I have no problem staring from my peep hole worth of books in front of me. But actually having to TEACH the guy... foreboding... (I guess it comes from all the Monday morning staff meeting I sleep in on, I keep getting picked for work I don't want to do.)
So here I am, trying not to look as stupid and a little on the OCD that I happen to have a problem with. Let's just hope he can't find the reference desk in this large library.
*finger's crossed*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
I have nothing against guys, I have no problem staring from my peep hole worth of books in front of me. But actually having to TEACH the guy... foreboding... (I guess it comes from all the Monday morning staff meeting I sleep in on, I keep getting picked for work I don't want to do.)
So here I am, trying not to look as stupid and a little on the OCD that I happen to have a problem with. Let's just hope he can't find the reference desk in this large library.
*finger's crossed*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Monday, June 14, 2010
Volunteers
Stupidity at its best is always with a volunteer. Most of my assistants usually teach the volunteers, but occasionally I have to deal with them. I give them wonderfully affectionate names like, 'Eloquent Idiot', 'Idiot', and 'Idiot that talks to much'. (Mean I know, but you don't know these people.)
Volunteer #1 stupidest question is!
"How do you know where this book goes?"
Volunteer #2 stupidest question:
"Are you psychic or something?"
Why that question? Because I know their number one stupidest question before they even ask it. Boy is it a pain, but before long they actually get a bit smarter.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Volunteer #1 stupidest question is!
"How do you know where this book goes?"
Volunteer #2 stupidest question:
"Are you psychic or something?"
Why that question? Because I know their number one stupidest question before they even ask it. Boy is it a pain, but before long they actually get a bit smarter.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Sunday, June 13, 2010
HIDE!!!
Alright, as a reference librarian I have a tendency to run away from approaching board members. Call it instinct, but I know the moment they come in through the front doors of the library. Okay, maybe I can smell them coming because of their over excessive use of expensive colognes, but you get the drift.
So what does the reference librarian have to be afraid of?... MY LIFE!!! I'm deathly afraid of people with power, so what do I do when they come in through the front door? I go into 'ghost mode' and disappear into the stacks. What happens when the director starts looking for me because the board members want to see me?
Even more so I hide. Call me chicken, I know, but I can't help it. People with power are S.C.A.R.Y... So what was the reason for the board members visit? Well after spending most of the day hidden and finally feeling the heavy presence of the board members gone, I head back to work. Director mad, me... don't care.
Director: "Didn't you know I was looking for you?"
Me: "Yup."
Stunned Director: "Then why didn't you come say hi to the board member?"
Me: "Can't. I'm allergic to them."
Director giving me a weird look: "Anyway, they wanted to say well done."
Praise from a board member... never a good thing...
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
So what does the reference librarian have to be afraid of?... MY LIFE!!! I'm deathly afraid of people with power, so what do I do when they come in through the front door? I go into 'ghost mode' and disappear into the stacks. What happens when the director starts looking for me because the board members want to see me?
Even more so I hide. Call me chicken, I know, but I can't help it. People with power are S.C.A.R.Y... So what was the reason for the board members visit? Well after spending most of the day hidden and finally feeling the heavy presence of the board members gone, I head back to work. Director mad, me... don't care.
Director: "Didn't you know I was looking for you?"
Me: "Yup."
Stunned Director: "Then why didn't you come say hi to the board member?"
Me: "Can't. I'm allergic to them."
Director giving me a weird look: "Anyway, they wanted to say well done."
Praise from a board member... never a good thing...
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Bluetooth vs Director
Alright, so our library has just installed all these new fancy bluetooth scanners, and headsets. Well, our director is what you would call a non-technological person. So my job as the IT/Ref librarian in-tells that I teach her how to use them. Like I've said, not technologically advanced.
Director: "Why isn't this plugged in?"
Me: "You don't have to."
Director: "Why not, if it's not connected to the computer I can't... what did you call it at the last board meeting... communicate with it?"
Me: "It goes through radio waves."
She gives the lipped 'O' and sets to scanning books for the first time. Falls in love with it and goes on a book scanning rampage. Next day, I'm busy behind my reference desk, working on yet another online reference question when the Director comes up looking a bit bed-ragged. Looking up, I ask, "What's up?"
"Ref! THIS THING DOESN'T WORK!!!!"
I look at the little yellow bluetooth hand-held laser and ask in a monotone, "Did you take it over to the computer and then press the trigger."
A moments hesitation and then she disappears, and reappears all glowing happily as she says, "IT WORKED!!!!"
You got to love Librarian-Hood....
Director: "Why isn't this plugged in?"
Me: "You don't have to."
Director: "Why not, if it's not connected to the computer I can't... what did you call it at the last board meeting... communicate with it?"
Me: "It goes through radio waves."
She gives the lipped 'O' and sets to scanning books for the first time. Falls in love with it and goes on a book scanning rampage. Next day, I'm busy behind my reference desk, working on yet another online reference question when the Director comes up looking a bit bed-ragged. Looking up, I ask, "What's up?"
"Ref! THIS THING DOESN'T WORK!!!!"
I look at the little yellow bluetooth hand-held laser and ask in a monotone, "Did you take it over to the computer and then press the trigger."
A moments hesitation and then she disappears, and reappears all glowing happily as she says, "IT WORKED!!!!"
You got to love Librarian-Hood....
Friday, June 11, 2010
Never Be the Last in a Library...
As the reference librarian, I have a very full life, most of it spent in my little oasis of desk, books, and tan folders. But occasionally, I am picked to close the library on our late days, meaning around nine at night. I have no problem doing it, though I do get picked for it quite often. So that means I work at the front desk, another meaning, no work! Or at least not the constant ref work I always have.
Around seven all the other librarians, assistants, volunteers, and excreta go home, while I sit there with my feet up in the assistants chair reading. It's almost closing, all the computers a idling, and I start getting the library cleaned up and ready for the next day, reports, stats, and everything done. Keys in hand, lock door to conference rooms, offices, computer lab(s). Finally the bathrooms, come and like regulation I knock, listen, and then shut the doors, go down the hall, lock the hall(s) and go back to my office to finish up last minute stuff.
As I'm about to shut off the main lights, I hear someone yelling. My brains saying, What in the world? No one's supposed to be here.
So I start calling out and finally come to the bathroom hallway. The person is behind the door. Trying to hold back laughter, I unlock the door and open it. A scared woman comes exploding out of it and yells at me. I told her I had done my standard proceedure, but she wouldn't have it and left the library fuming. Of course I started laughing my guts out at that point.
That is why I tell anyone that comes to the library on late days, don't be the last one in the library, you might get locked in.
You got to LOVE Librarian-Hood...
Around seven all the other librarians, assistants, volunteers, and excreta go home, while I sit there with my feet up in the assistants chair reading. It's almost closing, all the computers a idling, and I start getting the library cleaned up and ready for the next day, reports, stats, and everything done. Keys in hand, lock door to conference rooms, offices, computer lab(s). Finally the bathrooms, come and like regulation I knock, listen, and then shut the doors, go down the hall, lock the hall(s) and go back to my office to finish up last minute stuff.
As I'm about to shut off the main lights, I hear someone yelling. My brains saying, What in the world? No one's supposed to be here.
So I start calling out and finally come to the bathroom hallway. The person is behind the door. Trying to hold back laughter, I unlock the door and open it. A scared woman comes exploding out of it and yells at me. I told her I had done my standard proceedure, but she wouldn't have it and left the library fuming. Of course I started laughing my guts out at that point.
That is why I tell anyone that comes to the library on late days, don't be the last one in the library, you might get locked in.
You got to LOVE Librarian-Hood...
Thursday, June 10, 2010
#1 Prank In Our Library
I can't help it, every time I think about it I start laughing. In our library we are constantly prancing one another. (Co-workers, and occasionally patrons too *though not this one*) Our number one prank is probably one of the oldest in the book, but still gets a million laughs.
Only one thing I can say is *evil grin* look before you sit!
Alright, alright, I'll explain... huff... once about two years ago we got all this stuff from the circus that comes to our town once a year. Some clowns came for our summer reading program and left one of those whoopee cushions behind (You know one of those balloon things that makes the fart noise when you sit on it). As it turns out we couldn't stand not using it. So for the first time we tried it with non other then our BIG boss, the Director. Now she's a pretty good natured woman and one day we put it in the chair where she sits at the front desk from time to time, then covered it with her coat.
Naturally she didn't see it and sat down. *FART!* Now there were three patrons at the front desk when this happened. Our Director was blushing beet red and me and the assistants were trying desperately not to laugh in the stacks. The patrons were trying hard to too, but kids were giggling up a storm, some laughing straight out. For days after the director never left the office, and not just that, she found the whoopee cushion! She wanted to know who did it, and believe me this is one of those times you might loose your job kind of angry.
Anyhoo, no one was caught and the supposedly thrown away whoopee cushion lurks in our library, waiting for a poor unsuspecting fool to sit down.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Only one thing I can say is *evil grin* look before you sit!
Alright, alright, I'll explain... huff... once about two years ago we got all this stuff from the circus that comes to our town once a year. Some clowns came for our summer reading program and left one of those whoopee cushions behind (You know one of those balloon things that makes the fart noise when you sit on it). As it turns out we couldn't stand not using it. So for the first time we tried it with non other then our BIG boss, the Director. Now she's a pretty good natured woman and one day we put it in the chair where she sits at the front desk from time to time, then covered it with her coat.
Naturally she didn't see it and sat down. *FART!* Now there were three patrons at the front desk when this happened. Our Director was blushing beet red and me and the assistants were trying desperately not to laugh in the stacks. The patrons were trying hard to too, but kids were giggling up a storm, some laughing straight out. For days after the director never left the office, and not just that, she found the whoopee cushion! She wanted to know who did it, and believe me this is one of those times you might loose your job kind of angry.
Anyhoo, no one was caught and the supposedly thrown away whoopee cushion lurks in our library, waiting for a poor unsuspecting fool to sit down.
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Teenagers....
Alright, here is a story worth telling. As a reference librarian not often do I see teenagers. But occasionally, like today, I happened upon one.
As usual, I'm the far corner of our large old library, keeping my head down, and hoping neither assistant, nor patron bothers me with questions. (Most often it works and I get to read and take naps occasionally on slow days.) But alas today wasn't that day.
*SCENE*
"Hey ma'am can you help me?"
For a moment I was confused because it didn't sound like a kid or an adult. So I slide a large stack of books to the side to see who in world is asking me a question. It turns out to be a teenage boy. (Now how many teenagers come to a reference desk, much less a boy? My point exactly.) Strangely enough I was curious and say, "Sure, what's up kid?"
(Alright, I'm not that old, probably about seven years older then him, but tell no one!) Anyhoo, he says, "I'm trying to find a book on how to play the piano."
This nearly sent me falling over in my chair. My brain was yelling at me, Oh my dear lord!!! Did this TEENAGE BOY just ask for me to find him a book on how to play the PIANO?!?!?!
Quickly I reboot my brain, smile, and say, "Of course."
Being the brainiac I try not to be, I don't even have to search for it and have him follow me to where the how-to books are. Showing him the book, he is literally grinning from ear to ear. I felt so proud to have helped this teenage boy, and was very glad to see him in the library till he opened his mouth and said, "Now I'll be able to pick up chick's big time!!!"
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
As usual, I'm the far corner of our large old library, keeping my head down, and hoping neither assistant, nor patron bothers me with questions. (Most often it works and I get to read and take naps occasionally on slow days.) But alas today wasn't that day.
*SCENE*
"Hey ma'am can you help me?"
For a moment I was confused because it didn't sound like a kid or an adult. So I slide a large stack of books to the side to see who in world is asking me a question. It turns out to be a teenage boy. (Now how many teenagers come to a reference desk, much less a boy? My point exactly.) Strangely enough I was curious and say, "Sure, what's up kid?"
(Alright, I'm not that old, probably about seven years older then him, but tell no one!) Anyhoo, he says, "I'm trying to find a book on how to play the piano."
This nearly sent me falling over in my chair. My brain was yelling at me, Oh my dear lord!!! Did this TEENAGE BOY just ask for me to find him a book on how to play the PIANO?!?!?!
Quickly I reboot my brain, smile, and say, "Of course."
Being the brainiac I try not to be, I don't even have to search for it and have him follow me to where the how-to books are. Showing him the book, he is literally grinning from ear to ear. I felt so proud to have helped this teenage boy, and was very glad to see him in the library till he opened his mouth and said, "Now I'll be able to pick up chick's big time!!!"
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
The Night Ms. Nervous became... well... Ms. Nervous
Alright, so I never really told the story about Ms. Nervous. Call me evil, but I wanted to wait a while before I told it. So here's the story, like I told before about wanting to scare Ms. Nervous when she was Ms. Know-It-All, we decided we'd scare her when she worked late.
Since the library is open late on Fridays for those (idiotic) college kids. To all new assistants we have an initiation scare. It shows us how well they will do. So it was her turn, we usually like to do it on the first day, but we were kind of lazy with her. (Because she was well... a know it all in more ways then one.) So drawing straws it was decided that me and another coworker would do it. (This is all for fun, and when the next assistant joins the ranks the one we scared helps out too. *our evil fun is hilarious*)
Everyone already called me 'Ghost' at work because of my silent feet. So my coworker dressed me up as the grime reaper thanks to her obsession with medieval times. And so the fun began.
Ms. Nervous was busy putting up books and I came behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and screamed bloody murder. Thankfully no one was in the library at the moment. I took off my mask and said, "Got yeah."
*she beat the stuffing's out of me with a dictionary after...*
(She took it okay, but still ...) Even so she became Ms. Nervous and made everyone nervous as well. As for the nervous break down, it turned out false, *she's pregnant!* (Congrats!!! Ms. Nervous and Husband!!!).
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Since the library is open late on Fridays for those (idiotic) college kids. To all new assistants we have an initiation scare. It shows us how well they will do. So it was her turn, we usually like to do it on the first day, but we were kind of lazy with her. (Because she was well... a know it all in more ways then one.) So drawing straws it was decided that me and another coworker would do it. (This is all for fun, and when the next assistant joins the ranks the one we scared helps out too. *our evil fun is hilarious*)
Everyone already called me 'Ghost' at work because of my silent feet. So my coworker dressed me up as the grime reaper thanks to her obsession with medieval times. And so the fun began.
Ms. Nervous was busy putting up books and I came behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned around and screamed bloody murder. Thankfully no one was in the library at the moment. I took off my mask and said, "Got yeah."
*she beat the stuffing's out of me with a dictionary after...*
(She took it okay, but still ...) Even so she became Ms. Nervous and made everyone nervous as well. As for the nervous break down, it turned out false, *she's pregnant!* (Congrats!!! Ms. Nervous and Husband!!!).
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Monday, June 7, 2010
Behind-The-Scenes
Alright, so some of my friend who read this blog have been asking me what a librarian does to have fun. So like all those movies that have behind-the-scenes footage of actors making a fool of themselves, so do librarians. If you remember from my last post about the Sir Walter Scott thing, I will explain.
As a librarian, you have to find your fun where you can get it. In the offices behind the actual seen library, and in the shifter room, a good size room that lets us move our books around that have been check-in and out, there is a LONG hall that's waxed weekly. So when we have an old book that has some good paper in it, that hasn't been used in a long while, we have some fun!
First off, we take it out of our catalog and try to sale it.
Then if that doesn't work we steal it off the sales rack and during our breaks we rip out pages.
Now the reason for this is, you lay a nice slightly fuzzy page on the ground. Step back about ten feet and get a running start. We jump on the piece of paper and surf it down the hall. It is one of the few joys of being a librarian!
The record holder is Rambunctious Assistant at a fifteen foot slide using Edgar Allen Poe!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
As a librarian, you have to find your fun where you can get it. In the offices behind the actual seen library, and in the shifter room, a good size room that lets us move our books around that have been check-in and out, there is a LONG hall that's waxed weekly. So when we have an old book that has some good paper in it, that hasn't been used in a long while, we have some fun!
First off, we take it out of our catalog and try to sale it.
Then if that doesn't work we steal it off the sales rack and during our breaks we rip out pages.
Now the reason for this is, you lay a nice slightly fuzzy page on the ground. Step back about ten feet and get a running start. We jump on the piece of paper and surf it down the hall. It is one of the few joys of being a librarian!
The record holder is Rambunctious Assistant at a fifteen foot slide using Edgar Allen Poe!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Sunday, June 6, 2010
You Feel Something is Missing...
So now we are without an assistant. It's kind of a hollowing experience because now we have one less person to boss around... JUST KIDDING!!! Believe me Ms. Nervous made you nervous. Being the laid back librarians we are, we can't help but be kind of relieved. (Sorry Ms. Nervous and angry readers, but you didn't know her!)
As it turns out we are now hiring and we have learned that we can search the people online. I on the other hand get to do a background check on them. Another thing about being the Reference desk librarian happens to find herself in. If only I could be just the IT support!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
As it turns out we are now hiring and we have learned that we can search the people online. I on the other hand get to do a background check on them. Another thing about being the Reference desk librarian happens to find herself in. If only I could be just the IT support!
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Ms. Nervous
Let us continue where we left off. I have a tendency to be evil and leave people hanging.
SCENE:
It was discovered!... she had a nervous break down and can no longer work. For us librarians, we could only look at each other and wonder how it was possible for an assistant could. Now you are probably wondering what happened to Ms Nervous and why we always called her that.
It started when she started working here. She always wished to impress, but being a librarian you don't really care one way or another. Reading Sir Walter Scott... okay... well we use it for more recreational purposes. So as a 'let's have some fun', we decided to spook her. (We have a tendency to play tricks on each other and patrons. *I'll tell you those later*) In the end whenever we would come up on her, she would gasp as if she were about to scream bloody murder.
As for how she is today... we may never know...
Don't you love Librarian-Hood...
SCENE:
It was discovered!... she had a nervous break down and can no longer work. For us librarians, we could only look at each other and wonder how it was possible for an assistant could. Now you are probably wondering what happened to Ms Nervous and why we always called her that.
It started when she started working here. She always wished to impress, but being a librarian you don't really care one way or another. Reading Sir Walter Scott... okay... well we use it for more recreational purposes. So as a 'let's have some fun', we decided to spook her. (We have a tendency to play tricks on each other and patrons. *I'll tell you those later*) In the end whenever we would come up on her, she would gasp as if she were about to scream bloody murder.
As for how she is today... we may never know...
Don't you love Librarian-Hood...
Saturday, June 5, 2010
1 assistant, 2 assistant, 3 assistant, more!
Today while I was working, our Director wanted a count of all the assistant librarians, library assistants, and pages in our library. Because... cough... no other librarian wanted to do that and I wasn't (totally) present at the Monday morning staff meeting, I was voted to do the job. (I'm known for sleeping through them at the far corner of the long table.) Its a long rigorous job. So without further ado, I set to counting everyone that was supposed to be working.
1, 2, 3, 4,.... Turning around, I ask my Rambunctious Assistant, "Where's Ms. Nervous?"
"Don't know, check the stacks."
Seeing at the library is pretty big, I went about a treasure hunt for Ms. Nervous. (I'll give you an answer to why I call her that later.) So after a monumental search of the library, and asking of assistants and never ending stream of volunteers, it was discovered one of the assistants was missing from work and had been for a couple of days.
Now librarians being the introverts we are sometimes, I had no intention of calling to see if the dudette was okay. (I have a tendency to read and watch too many murder mysteries.) After having a rather long.... clearing throat... heated discussion we all drew straws and Whiner Page got the job. It was discovered...
TO BE CONTINUED....
1, 2, 3, 4,.... Turning around, I ask my Rambunctious Assistant, "Where's Ms. Nervous?"
"Don't know, check the stacks."
Seeing at the library is pretty big, I went about a treasure hunt for Ms. Nervous. (I'll give you an answer to why I call her that later.) So after a monumental search of the library, and asking of assistants and never ending stream of volunteers, it was discovered one of the assistants was missing from work and had been for a couple of days.
Now librarians being the introverts we are sometimes, I had no intention of calling to see if the dudette was okay. (I have a tendency to read and watch too many murder mysteries.) After having a rather long.... clearing throat... heated discussion we all drew straws and Whiner Page got the job. It was discovered...
TO BE CONTINUED....
Friday, June 4, 2010
Mrs. 2
Alright, funny story of the day. We have 12 computers that patrons are allowed to us in our lab, all of which are numbered. As you can guess we check-out our computers by their number and give each patron a stub that tells them which one. Now our patrons each have a six digit number on the card so we can identify them. Now here comes one of our patrons we all nicknamed Mrs. 2.
Everyday we would assign her a different computer, but she would ALWAYS go to number two. One day my assistant came complaining about it, since I'm all the way across the library from the computer lab. So I make my way through the stack (or reference to book shelves) and into the lab. Coming up to Mrs. 2 I ask, "Ma'am, is this the computer assigned to you?"
"Yes." Mrs. 2 says.
"May I see your tab."
The hands it to me and gets back to her work. I look at it and see the assigned computer if seven. Tapping her on the shoulder, I say, "Mrs. 2, the computer you need to be on is seven."
"No it isn't."
Out of curiosity since I hate reports and thus procrastinate, I ask, "Why do you say that?"
She shows me her tab and points to the two at the end of her six digit patron number. I almost wanted to bust out laughing there, but instead I say, "Ma'am, that's your patron number."
"Two is my patron number! Who's one?!"
My assistant snorts, as I proceed to explain the six digit index we use. After a half hour of arguing not about the computer, but more about the fact her patron index number isn't one, she finally relinquishes the computer and leaves the library fuming. From that day on she was known as Mrs. 2, and her partiality to the number one.
You got to love Librarian-Hood
Everyday we would assign her a different computer, but she would ALWAYS go to number two. One day my assistant came complaining about it, since I'm all the way across the library from the computer lab. So I make my way through the stack (or reference to book shelves) and into the lab. Coming up to Mrs. 2 I ask, "Ma'am, is this the computer assigned to you?"
"Yes." Mrs. 2 says.
"May I see your tab."
The hands it to me and gets back to her work. I look at it and see the assigned computer if seven. Tapping her on the shoulder, I say, "Mrs. 2, the computer you need to be on is seven."
"No it isn't."
Out of curiosity since I hate reports and thus procrastinate, I ask, "Why do you say that?"
She shows me her tab and points to the two at the end of her six digit patron number. I almost wanted to bust out laughing there, but instead I say, "Ma'am, that's your patron number."
"Two is my patron number! Who's one?!"
My assistant snorts, as I proceed to explain the six digit index we use. After a half hour of arguing not about the computer, but more about the fact her patron index number isn't one, she finally relinquishes the computer and leaves the library fuming. From that day on she was known as Mrs. 2, and her partiality to the number one.
You got to love Librarian-Hood
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Repeat After Me...
Everyday I get some of the most interesting questions asked me, one of this is, big guess. "Is this the liberry?"
I only have one question, do they know how to at least say LIBRARY correctly. Of course I can't say, 'It's library, not liberry." But alas I can't.
I only have one question, do they know how to at least say LIBRARY correctly. Of course I can't say, 'It's library, not liberry." But alas I can't.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Printer Jam
Lets talk about those patrons that print a bajillion pages and the print gets stuck in our printer. Well considering... like I've said before. I'm the ONLY IT specialist there and it's a pain because I have to help the Director with reports and, ya'da, ya'da, ya'da. So the assistant librarians come crying to me when the blockbuster sized printer goes down.
*SCENE*
Whining Assistant: 'Hey Ref, can you come help us?'
"Whats up?" (I'm Ref. just so you know, if you couldn't tell.)
"Well... you see... uh... *in a mumble* the printer jammed again."
I slowly stand up over the pile of reference books, papers, and news articles needing to be organized and whatever else is taking up my precious time. Slowly the assistants shrink back as I ask slowly, "What. Happened. Again?"
"Sorry, Ref, but the printer jammed again."
I give them a scalding glare and fum my way out of the reference area, down the hall, and to the computer lab. There ten people start asking me questions. I say, "Busy.", "Don't care", "Ask my assistants." (Mean I know, but when you're fuming you don't really care.)
Finally get to the printer, open it up, and suddenly smoke starts coming out. "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON THERE!!!!"
Turn to assistants, cowering as they say, "We tried to fix it..."
With a sigh, I get down to business, which includes taking a fire extinguisher to it, and then scalding my hand as I pull out wades of burnt and crumpled paper. Close it up, get it moving again, and go back to the cave of my reference desk without a word to the horrified patrons.
I wonder if that's why no ones been using the computer lately? *evil grin*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
*SCENE*
Whining Assistant: 'Hey Ref, can you come help us?'
"Whats up?" (I'm Ref. just so you know, if you couldn't tell.)
"Well... you see... uh... *in a mumble* the printer jammed again."
I slowly stand up over the pile of reference books, papers, and news articles needing to be organized and whatever else is taking up my precious time. Slowly the assistants shrink back as I ask slowly, "What. Happened. Again?"
"Sorry, Ref, but the printer jammed again."
I give them a scalding glare and fum my way out of the reference area, down the hall, and to the computer lab. There ten people start asking me questions. I say, "Busy.", "Don't care", "Ask my assistants." (Mean I know, but when you're fuming you don't really care.)
Finally get to the printer, open it up, and suddenly smoke starts coming out. "WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON THERE!!!!"
Turn to assistants, cowering as they say, "We tried to fix it..."
With a sigh, I get down to business, which includes taking a fire extinguisher to it, and then scalding my hand as I pull out wades of burnt and crumpled paper. Close it up, get it moving again, and go back to the cave of my reference desk without a word to the horrified patrons.
I wonder if that's why no ones been using the computer lately? *evil grin*
You got to love Librarian-Hood...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Hello, Grand Central Station, how may I help you?
The question I get asked every time I answer the phone is, 'Is this the liberry?"
Yes, very much so it is. But sometimes I got to say I want to tell them, no this is Grand Central Station and your call is collect. Evil I know, but sometimes you just to laugh when you have just told them it's the library and still they ask.
Yes, very much so it is. But sometimes I got to say I want to tell them, no this is Grand Central Station and your call is collect. Evil I know, but sometimes you just to laugh when you have just told them it's the library and still they ask.
Monday, May 31, 2010
The Paper Snatchers
This is another problem we seem to have while in the library. Every day we get two local newspapers, and by the end of the day we only half two half mangled newspapers. It comes with the territory for librarians, but come on, those papers are for everyone. Not to mention they get stolen half the time! UGH!!! I need to put security systems on them to keep them in the library!!!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Stinks
There are perks of working at a library, and then there are the stinks of working at a library. (Literally.) We will call his name Mr. Gross, when he comes in to the ref desk, I dread it. Since I'm the only IT support all patrons come crying to me when they get viruses in our computers. (EXCUSE ME!!! WHERE DO YOU KEEP GOING TO GET THEM!!!)
Let's just say with Mr. Gross even when he leaves the desk, his smell still lingers long after. Believe me you can smell him coming in the door. I understand he works late, but a shower before coming would be very nice for me. Once, not long ago, one of my more... rambunctious assistants told this guy he needed some hand sanitizer. (It's mandatory for every patron who comes in to use it.)
He said: $*#( no.
Rambunctious Assistant: Well sorry sir, we can't let you use the computer without using it, and please keep your language down.
(Both mandatory.)
Mr. Gross: #(&*&%$ you!
(I'm hearing this from my desk mind you across the library. and believe me, he didn't go lightly on the language either.)
Rambunctious Assistant: Same to you! Now get out!!!
So my assistant has no fear, let me tell you, but I ended up having to deal with him the next day. He's scary, and stinky as the same time. HELP ME!!!!
Let's just say with Mr. Gross even when he leaves the desk, his smell still lingers long after. Believe me you can smell him coming in the door. I understand he works late, but a shower before coming would be very nice for me. Once, not long ago, one of my more... rambunctious assistants told this guy he needed some hand sanitizer. (It's mandatory for every patron who comes in to use it.)
He said: $*#( no.
Rambunctious Assistant: Well sorry sir, we can't let you use the computer without using it, and please keep your language down.
(Both mandatory.)
Mr. Gross: #(&*&%$ you!
(I'm hearing this from my desk mind you across the library. and believe me, he didn't go lightly on the language either.)
Rambunctious Assistant: Same to you! Now get out!!!
So my assistant has no fear, let me tell you, but I ended up having to deal with him the next day. He's scary, and stinky as the same time. HELP ME!!!!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Mrs. LP
Sometimes you can't help but laugh at older patrons that come into the library, they are hard of hearing, and sometimes I do have to yell in the library so they won't misunderstand me. One day a woman (who we will call Mrs. LP) came into the library and we had just that example of a misunderstanding.
Mrs. LP: 'Do you have any large print books?"
Me: "Yes."
Mrs. LP: "Where?"
I show her to the area, and she looks at me and says, "No I know where the large prints are."
I give her a questioning expression and she says, "I want to know about new Large Print."
"This is all we have."
She pats my arm and says, "Oh well dear, you can't help it."
WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT!!!! *slowly edging away*
Mrs. LP: 'Do you have any large print books?"
Me: "Yes."
Mrs. LP: "Where?"
I show her to the area, and she looks at me and says, "No I know where the large prints are."
I give her a questioning expression and she says, "I want to know about new Large Print."
"This is all we have."
She pats my arm and says, "Oh well dear, you can't help it."
WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT!!!! *slowly edging away*
Friday, May 28, 2010
Pull 'em Up
This is something I have to say a lot of the time. Teenagers think it's really cool to wear their pants down to their knees and show off their rears, so this is what I have to do, and an actual experience...
(For all intensive purposes we will call this dude Low-Rider)
"Excuse me, Low-Rider?"
"Huh?"
"You need to pull up your pants."
"Why, they'll just slide down again, what's the point?"
"It's common curtsy."
"Huh? What's that?"
"Do you know the origins to where that started?"
"Huh? What's or'jeans?"
"The history."
"Nope, don't care."
"Believe me you will... it started in prisons, to let other prisoners know you are gay."
Low-Rider looks at me with a glazed expression as it sinks in, then horror shows on his face. He quickly pulls up his pants and with a embarrassed blush says, "Thanks."
Big grin, "No problem."
From that day on, Low-Rider was no longer Low-Rider... he was Suit-Pants.
You got to love Librarian-hood...
(For all intensive purposes we will call this dude Low-Rider)
"Excuse me, Low-Rider?"
"Huh?"
"You need to pull up your pants."
"Why, they'll just slide down again, what's the point?"
"It's common curtsy."
"Huh? What's that?"
"Do you know the origins to where that started?"
"Huh? What's or'jeans?"
"The history."
"Nope, don't care."
"Believe me you will... it started in prisons, to let other prisoners know you are gay."
Low-Rider looks at me with a glazed expression as it sinks in, then horror shows on his face. He quickly pulls up his pants and with a embarrassed blush says, "Thanks."
Big grin, "No problem."
From that day on, Low-Rider was no longer Low-Rider... he was Suit-Pants.
You got to love Librarian-hood...
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Computers, Books, and Hacking
Those are just a few of the fun jobs that come with being a librarian. As a reference librarians and the only IT support in our library, it is exceptionally funny when I use utilities to hack into our patron computers. You wouldn't believe how many times I tell someone, you shouldn't be on that site, and they are saying, "Whut site?"
Then I give my evil grin and click the tab they were looking at a few minutes ago and say, "I have eyes in the back of my head."
Awe the joys of librarianhood. Of course it doesn't save me from those idiotic people that don't know how to use their computer, aka my assistants. It's annoying when they come up with a patron while I'm busy fixing a computer or looking a grants and they say, "Could you help this guy, he needs to.... blah blah blah."
Uh can't you see I'm busy?! is what I'm thinking, but I say, "Sure."
Librarianhood is one of those things you got to love...
Then I give my evil grin and click the tab they were looking at a few minutes ago and say, "I have eyes in the back of my head."
Awe the joys of librarianhood. Of course it doesn't save me from those idiotic people that don't know how to use their computer, aka my assistants. It's annoying when they come up with a patron while I'm busy fixing a computer or looking a grants and they say, "Could you help this guy, he needs to.... blah blah blah."
Uh can't you see I'm busy?! is what I'm thinking, but I say, "Sure."
Librarianhood is one of those things you got to love...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Their Story
To become a good librarian, one must be able to put patrons to sleep... at any cost... So where do I come in?
*Pulling out sedative.*
Exactly... I have the fun job of helping patrons with things they don't understand, best known as a Reference Librarian or (as the kids like to call me, "The Know It All") So this blog is dedicated to all those patrons that have a funny story, and the librarians that tell them. Since I get asked the most stupid questions, I'll put them on this blog and let you figure them out, also I'll tell the stories that are the hilarious, pee in your pants kind that I deal with on... a daily bases. As well as how I can sedate a patron that might be getting a little to late, or how I lock patrons in the bathroom, or tape stuff on their back, or... well... I'll leave the rest of my hilarious pranks to your imagination.
*evil grin*
*Pulling out sedative.*
Exactly... I have the fun job of helping patrons with things they don't understand, best known as a Reference Librarian or (as the kids like to call me, "The Know It All") So this blog is dedicated to all those patrons that have a funny story, and the librarians that tell them. Since I get asked the most stupid questions, I'll put them on this blog and let you figure them out, also I'll tell the stories that are the hilarious, pee in your pants kind that I deal with on... a daily bases. As well as how I can sedate a patron that might be getting a little to late, or how I lock patrons in the bathroom, or tape stuff on their back, or... well... I'll leave the rest of my hilarious pranks to your imagination.
*evil grin*
Thursday, May 20, 2010
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